Many people secretly think about having an open marriage but don’t think that they could really do it. If you’ve been with your spouse for a long time or if you are just very independent you may have wondered if an open marriage would make you both happier. An open marriage can be tough, and there are many people that try to open their marriage in order to save their marriage without fixing the problems in the marriage and they end up getting divorced. An open marriage isn’t a cure for a bad marriage. But if your marriage is stale, or if you feel like you’re not getting something that you need then an open marriage might be right for you.
I was afraid to talk to my husband about an open marriage, I wondered what he would say. And I wondered how I would handle it if he slept with someone else. But I really was curious about it. When I started doing some research to find out more. I love my husband, and our marriage, and our life together. I love our home and our weekend brunches and holiday parties and all the other things we do as a couple. But I also wanted to the chance to connect with people who share the hobbies and interests that I have that my husband doesn’t share. I wanted the chance to connect with new people and have passion in my life again.
One day when we were at our usual marriage therapy sessions I brought up the idea of an open marriage. My husband was shocked. And at first, he was adamant that he wouldn’t even consider it. But after about a week he said that he would be willing to discuss it. We both started reading everything we could find about successful open marriages. And the next time we had a counseling appointment we talked with our counselor about possibly opening the marriage.
It was another six months before we really opened the marriage. In the meantime, we both had to improve our communication skills. Opening up the marriage has meant that we both need to be very respectful of each other’s privacy. We both need to communicate well. There was one glitch early on in the opening of the marriage that made wonder if we had made a mistake. We had dates with other people on the same night. I came home that night and my husband didn’t. And I laid in our bed and cried knowing he was sleeping with someone else.
But when I woke up he was there, and we had our usual Sunday brunch and walk in the park just like we always did. Eventually, I learned to control my jealousy and so did he. Now we’ve had an open marriage for a long time and I wouldn’t go back to a closed marriage. I love having the freedom to connect with other people and I love being married. An open marriage gives us both what we need to really be happy.
Click for more interesting topics at danielraffaele.com.